slap happy faces

what happend to television? i remember how good it used to be back in the early 90s. high quality programming, almost no reality television, and awesome commercials. yeah, i said it. awesome commercials. i used to be able to sit through them. but today, the commecials have gotten so bad, that i can hardly even crack a smile. ever notice how geico tries to hard? yah, me too.

i bet you that car insurance is crap. i've never met anyone with geico car insurance. you'd have to be stupid to get car insurance from a lizard, anyway. oops! not a gecko. it's geico! goddamn stupid comercials. the kids are on a perfectly fine car trip, singing and having fun, when that stupid ass lizard cuts in with, "everybody is kung foo fighting." that gecko knows nothing about manners. or family values.

geckos have always been a problem. i heard a kid was eaten by a gecko before. they probably eat other important things like crops, too. i remember there used to be these learning videos i had, where a gecko hosted a show about animals. i had the complete set. i learned a lot about animals with those simple vhs tapes. like how some animals can change color to escape enemies. i wish i could do that. "frothy, do you have your homework? frothy?" the funny thing is, i'd still be sitting in my seat. but i'd have seat camouflage.

schools should put cushions on the chairs. if i was more comfortable during class, i'd probably pay more attention to the teacher instead of my ass falling asleep. my ass falls asleep a lot. i'll just be sitting, and poof! all feeling gone. standing up is hard after that. and i enjoy standing. but only in my own time. i hate being forced to stand.

i wonder how the president stands so much. i bet for you to be elected into office, you have to have artificial legs. it all makes sence now. fake legs. imagine having fake legs. you could fall down all the time without scraping anything. you would be impervious to grass stains. solid gold legs. i could make a fortune! kay's golden leg emporium.

"every kick begins with kay," would be my motto.